simardcasanova’s avatarsimardcasanova’s Twitter Archive—№ 18,957

          1. I have some (meh) updates on the writing of my PhD… Last week, I have been quite sick (probably food poisoning) and it slowed me down a lot I will probably miss my initial goal of finishing it for the 30th of December BUT…
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          1) Shit happens and that's OK. Plus, there is nothing I can do against it. I have decided to treat this as a sunk cost: it's paid, and I won't be able to recover the time I "lost". So I just need to move on.
      1. …in reply to @simardcasanova
        2) I still worked quite a lot last week. I kept writing, improving my thesis and fine tuning important part of an important model. I prefer to remember *what I was able to do even if I was sick and tired* instead of being mad at myself because it happened I was sick.
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      (I want to be mad *or* feel rewarded at myself for things I have control over, and not to draw any positive or negative conclusions about myself on things I can't control.)
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    3) The urge to finish is absolutely intact*. My determination is even stronger. As is my motivation. I would compare what happened last week as running in the mud: it's not that you don't want to run, it's just you're not in the appropriate terrain so you only progress slowly.
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      4) I lost one week of work. But because I am leaving for LA and SD at the 30th of December for two weeks, delays will add up. And *that's OK*. Because once again: it's a sunk cost. And I don't want to write things I wouldn't be able to defend in front of the committee.
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        Maybe I am wrong, but this is not just a matter of being perfectionist (which I am & I am also working on it, and writing this PhD is a transformative experience on that regard) I have worked for EIGHT years on that PhD, and I want the end product to reflect that/be proud of it
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          So what do I do now? I am not sure – yet. I stil want the 30th of December to be some sort of milestone. But I also don't want it to be artificial or anything. What I will do for sure is to continue to work my ass off up to the 30th of December
          1. …in reply to @simardcasanova
            It is also something I learned during the last couple of weeks: artificial deadlines are useless (I just speak for myself), especially when I have enough self-determination to advance I need meaning to advance, I need to understand *why* I have to do something before doing it
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              (I would have been a really bad soldier to be honest, and I think you understand why I am contemplating so strongly a freelance career)
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                I still need time to reconfigure all of this and find the right way to finish, but honestly it's not that important As long as I continue to write and work as intensely as I did before I was sick, I'm good (I also know going back to the gym will be super useful)
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                  Anyway Don't draw too many conclusions on what I just wrote. It's just a modest and (I hope) honest testimony of my own journey There are no advices on what I wrote It's just my story
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                    Wish me luck for the upcoming days And I have absolutely planned to enjoy my parents and my family during Christmas! (Let's just pray I will be able to get a train tomorrow 🙏)
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                      *The main reason why I want this to be over is because I am working on a couple of super exciting projects, and I want to be able to dedicate all the energy and time and ressources those projects deserve!
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                        (It's quite a strange feeling not to be *that* bothered by last week setback. Strange, but also fascinating and extremely rewarding!)